Hollowed out and Empty
by aizzoma73
Summary: The story of a new Arrancar. One that hasn't given up his heart. M for lan. and graphic details renjixocxshuuhei
1. Chapter 1

No one is ever born bad. Some are simply pushed to the edge by love, hatred and other human evils.

Mine was love.

My love carved out my heart and turned my brother into a demon, like her.

I thought she was lost or hurt. It was raining and against my family's will, I set out to look for her. I ran through the streets screaming her name. When I found her she was cut and bleeding profusely. When I kneeled beside her though, I felt the hidden dagger slip between my ribs. She smiled up at me and carved my heart out. As I died she kissed my lips goodbye.

I awoke 3 days later. I ran home hoping it was just a dream. I ignored the fact that my feet didn't touch the ground and how I didn't run out of breath. I arrived at home to find that a wedding was taking place. It was between my brother and… the bitch that killed me. She didn't even wait for a fucking week before getting married!! My soul filled with rage at them both. I felt my body shift and change to match my rage. I wanted revenge.

I wanted blood.


	2. Chapter 2

The rage consumed me. It transformed into a mask that grew up straight from my collarbone. The darkness of the mask enveloped me and reformed me in its dark womb.

I do not remember breaking from the womb, to be born again as a monster, all I could think of was one phrase.

_I loved you._

_I LOVED you!_

_I FUCKING LOVED YOU!!_

_I FUCKING LOVED YOU, YOU DEMON WHORE!!!!!!!!_

I screamed it out, I remember that. I remember crashing into her and holding her so close and so hard her bones snapped. I remember her blood and her heart passing through my jaws. I wish I didn't remember.

The lace of her dress was ripped and torn. She was ripped and torn. I had relished the fact that her heart now replaced the one she stole from me. Until I looked up.

There was my brother, shocked and in pain. He could see me I knew. He could see what I had become. He understood that his older brother, the brother that cared what happened to people, who would never ever hurt anyone ever, whom he looked up to, was gone. He knew I was gone forever to die within a monster.

He whispered, "You never left her. She killed you. She said you betrayed her for another woman and I believed her…"

Then he shook his head and glared at me," You're NOT Zikinoru. At least not anymore." He drew a gun from his pocket and said" I'm not a brother to a monster." I braced myself for the bullet to go through me to kill this vengeful beast.

The gun went off.

I flinched.

He fell.

I disappeared into limbo. It was the only way I wouldn't hurt anyone in my soulless suicide. The grief hit me faster than that bullet would have. If my brother hadn't shot himself.

I hated this monster that my tainted love had turned me into. I grasped the edges of the mask and pulled. I pulled it and pulled it and pulled it even when I felt the blood trickle down my face. I screamed at the pain and agony.

I finally stopped pulling and absent mindedly turned my head down. There was the hole love had given me. I could feel my heart disappearing and turning the hole deeper.

I reached in frantically. I didn't want my heart to disappear! I pulled as I pulled with my mask. I writhed in the air in agony. It was like no pain I've felt before. I grabbed with my other hand at anything within reach. Eventually I grabbed my mask.

I heard a tearing sound and the pain and anger faded. In one hand I held my mask, snapped off from the collarbone. In the other I held the hatred. It coiled darkly and sickeningly around my arm. It was too fast to catch before it met my face. It leaped onto my face and trickled down my face.

Then I fell to the ground. The impact hurt my whole body and I fainted. Before I fainted though I saw faces come into my vision. They were too blurry to see so I slipped into sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke to voices.

"WHY THE FUCK DO WE HAVE TO BRING HIM BACK TO HEADQUARTERS?!?!" the first one snarled. The other voice was softer but also pissed off, "because Byakuya said so idiot"

"Who are you calling an Idiot Asshole?!

"You, idiot"

"I'LL KICK YOUR ASS SHUUHEI!!!"

They didn't seem to notice I was awake. I opened my eyes more to see two young men fist fighting. The first one I had heard was tall with broad shoulders and tattoos on his upper face. His hair was also a bright red that kind of hurt my eyes.

The other was slimmer and had purplish hair. He also wore face tattoos in the form of a 69. He seemed calmer and in more control than the other one. I guessed his name was Shuuhei.

I tried to sit up but found I couldn't move much. I looked down to see myself in shackles and chains. I figured my monster side could've broken them but I didn't even want to think of that.

That was when I remembered what had happened with my hatred. I tried to reach up to see if it was still there, but my hands were behind my back. I shifted slightly waiting for them to stop the fight. The jangling caught their attention.

"Oi better not be trying to escape worm!" threatened the red-head.

"He can't anyway moron. I made sure they were properly secured," scolded Shuuhei.

"Don't scold me asshole"

"Too bad ass"

They were about to start fighting again when I gathered courage to speak. "W-where am I," I stuttered out. My mouth felt so dry. I never did like fighting or seeing people get hurt. It made me nervous.

They looked at me bewildered. As if I was caught going into the women's bathroom by mistake. Shuuhei squatted next to me and asked "How long ago did you die?"

"A-about 3 days ago...S-sir?"

"BULL-SHIT," yelled out the red-head. I thought to myself how rude he was. I kind of wanted to throw him off a really high cliff. That was against my nature though so I disregarded it.

"And you're already an Arrancar?"

I frowned at this new word. I had no clue what an Arrancar and why would I be one? So I decided to display my ignorance. It seemed for the best.

"w-what's that?" I asked.

Shuuhei looked back at the red head and then back at me. He seemed very confused. The red head growled at me. He probably thought I was lying.

"Don't act like you don't know!"

"b-but I don't," I added softly.

He glared at me and then at Shuuhei.

"Let's take him to Mayuri," he purred. I was scared of the look on his face. It was a cruel grin that spoke of endless torture for me.

I wasn't wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

"The stupid ass is heavier than he looks," growled the red-head.

Shuuhei shot him a reproachful glare and sighed.

"Y-you guys could un-sh-shackle my legs. I'll walk with you," I spoke up. I would've slapped myself at that moment if I wasn't chained.

"What makes you think we can trust you, stupid Arrancar!?" yelled the red head. He stopped dragging me and turned toward me with utter hatred in his eyes. He was just about to kick me when I stuttered out" I s-swear on w-what's left-t of my heart I w-won't betray your trust!"

He stopped mid-kick and stared at me in confusion.

'Whadaya mean worm?"

I gulped and somehow was able to move my jacket open so he could see my heart. He gasped and motioned Shuuhei toward me to see it. Shuuhei calmly walked up and leaned over me to examine the hole. His eyes practically popped out of socket when he realized I had a heart, slowly, but surely beating in my chest.

"Renji, are you seeing this too?"

"Holy crapsicles…his hole doesn't go through all the way,"

"Thank you Lieutenant Obvious."

Renji looked to Shuuhei with an annoyed glare and looked back at the hole.

"D-d-do you believe me now?"

Instead of answering they went off to the side at a distance where I couldn't hear them. When they came back the still looked uncertain. They bent down to unchain my chains though so I would be walking soon. I hated being an inconvenience.

They helped me up and helped me steady my feet. I walked with them a ways before either said anything.

"Mayuri is going to be especially interested in you, you poor fucker," Renji said abruptly.

He was right.

"What's this you say? A new specimen for me? How interesting! ^^," Mayuri replied when we arrived."What is it this time? Hollow, Blank, or maybe a Bount? Tell me tell me!!!" God, I've never seen anyone so excited to see a "specimen" before. He scared the living shit out of me too. He was white all over and wore a large pointed hat. His gold eyes showed no mercy for me or any other thing. Apparently I shuddered because Shuuhei glanced over at me and Renji gripped my arm tighter.

"He's an Arrancar. One with a heart," Renji told Mayuri evilly. I was scared out of my wits. Would Mayuri tear out what was left of my heart? Maybe put it in a jar to show future generations?

"Well that is interesting," Mayuri purred.

He came closer and moved my jacket half-way down my arm to get a better look. Then like the bastard he was, he poked it with his one long fingernail.

Pain shot through my veins all over my body. I gasped, fell to the ground, and screamed all in one motion. I writhed in pain, causing the chains to clank noisily. My scream seemed to last an eternity, before I finally stopped and fell on my face.

"Very interesting indeed. Thank you gentlemen you may go," Mayuri purred. Renji stared at me with some other emotion than hatred. Was it …regret? Shuuhei looked me over in pity but, neither said anything. As they left I decided not to hate Renji. He didn't know me but still regretted giving me to Mayuri. I looked up to see Mayuri 2 inches from my face. He grinned and then whispered

"Time for more tests my friend."

I decided to hate him truly for the rest of my days.


	5. Chapter 5

As they walked away from the lab, Renji and Shuuhei had a quite serious conversation. They were both disturbed by what had happened to Zikinoru in the lab and felt bad about delivering him to Mayuri. Renji seriously felt like a cigarette even though he had quit years ago. Shuuhei could tell since Renji had his fingers to his lips in the usual smoking position.

"You ok?"

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"YES, I'M PERFECTLY FINE!!"

At this point Renji slammed Shuuhei into the wall. Shuuhei removed himself from the red-heads grasp and said," I think you need some poky, because I'm not letting you have those cancer sticks." Renji looked down at his fingers in a bit of a confused look, before realizing his addiction was kicking in. He grumbled about Shuuhei noticing every little thing and Shuuhei smiled like he had a secret.

They walked a little in the general direction of the nearest shop before Renji noticed Shuuhei's smile. Slightly disturbed by the smaller mans expression, he asked," What's that look for?" Shuuhei smiled broader and replied," what look? ( ;" Renji placed his fingers against his lips again in his confusion. "What would you do if I told you that I knew your secret," Shuuhei burst out unexpectedly.

Renji stopped walking and felt his hand tremble. How did Shuuhei know? It was like he could see right through him. He stared at the man before him and asked,"H-how did you find out?" He cursed himself for stuttering. What kind of man was he?

Shuuhei took a step closer so he could speak lower. He whispered," I found out myself. You know at the Christmas party? I haven't told anyone, I'm not an asshole." He watched as Renji's face turned as red as his hair. He took a deep breath, ready to trust Renji with his own secret. "I'm one too you know," he whispered calmly. Renji's head snapped toward him and his eyes stared into Shuuhei's. Renji's mouth unhinged and dropped. Shuuhei laughed and tapped his tattoo," Why do you think I got this?"

Renji blushed as Shuuhei got closer. He had wondered why he had gotten that tattoo, but he had never guessed that Shuuhei was gay! He wondered if Shuuhei had dreamed as he dreamed, of him… Shuuhei was even closer now and Renji could feel his breath on his ear. He blushed further. "Let's go. I want to get you some poky, sempai," Shuuhei whispered as he wrapped his arm around Renji's shoulders. They walked away talking about how they came to like guys.


	6. Chapter 6

My blood ran free from my shoulder. I did not understand this Mayuri character. Why would he try to kill me when he said he wanted to experiment on me? Besides, I hated fighting. I never learned how to sword fight, because I preferred to learn meditation. In a nutshell I was a scholar, not a fighter.

"Arrancar! Why won't you fight me? Don't you want blood like the rest of your kind?"

"Why would I want blood from someone I don't even know?!" I yelled out.

I hadn't even drawn the sword at my hip from its scabbard! I hurt all over and could barely stand, yet this bastard still wanted a fight?! He knew my condition too. I could tell that the injections he gave me earlier were monitoring me.

He gave me a bewildered look and I felt chains from the floor wrap around my legs. He tapped that one finger nail against his cheek and muttered, "Maybe I can fight him later, but right now I must enter this information into my notebook."

He yelled out suddenly, "NEMU! GET IN HERE NOW!"

The lady in question appeared in the doorway, moments later. She had black hair cropped short and necklength. Around her neck was a red collar. Her eyes were a pale green and her eyelids drooped halfway. She stood with her hands clasped in front of her and her head drooped. He immediately strode up to her angrily and slapped her! I was in shock! Why would he hit her unprovoked?!

"Why were you not here earlier?! Usually you get here before I even finish my sentence?"

While he said these words, I could feel my anger boiling. I felt something melt from my cheeks and watched as my hatred turned the chains black and broke them apart. I ran toward him, my hatred covering my legs, making them lighter. He turned toward me and stood in shock as I slung out my arm, catching him in the cheekbone. I could feel it crumble beneath my fist. I watched him fall and tumble over and over again. I stood next to Nemu and felt adrenalin pump through my system. I panted and glared hatefully at him.

"What kind of man hits a lady?! An asshole, that's what!"

The words came out as a scream of justification. He sat up and listened to my words in shock. I saw reflected in his eyes the form I was taking, and stopped. I let the anger dissipate. The black demon wings dissipated, and my heart began to hurt.

I dropped to my knees and felt my lungs and heart begin to be consumed again. Shoving my hand into the hole hurt, but not as much as the hatred devouring my heart. Ripping the hatred off hurt more, but I bore it once more. It entangled itself around my hand, but not before Mayuri trapped it in a jar. I felt the linoleum against my face and passed out.


	7. Chapter 7

"Reporting from mission, Captain!" Renji and Shuuhei exclaimed, saluting Captain Byakuya. The captain sat at the desk filling out papers as usual. Most were bills for Ichigo's destructive habits, such as bursting through numerous walls to get away from angry lady soul reapers.

Byakuya looked up from his papers to look at his lieutenant and Renji. "So what was it? A hollow or perhaps a Menos?" he asked in his highly cultured voice. The two lieutenants glanced at each other in a worried fashion. How were they to break it to him that the threat was even greater than expected?

"It was neither, My Captain," Shuuhei finally explained. Byakuya's eyebrows arched up and he looked up slightly from his papers.

"It was an Arrancar, sir!" Renji blurted out. Byakuya stood up slowly and walked around the desk.

"And what pray tell did you do with it?" He asked in a grumbly voice, glaring beneath his bangs.

"We delivered him to Mayuri." Shuuhei answered.

"Let's check up on him then."

Byakuya flicked his bangs and left the office. The lieutenants followed close behind.

Halfway there they heard an inhuman scream. It was a scream of pain and fury. They immediately broke into a run, drawing out their swords. Byakuya completely ignored the "Enter and Die" sign on Mayuri's door and flung it open.

Inside lay an interesting scene. The Arrancar was lying on his stomach on the floor. Nemu was standing a few feet away with a look of shock on her face. Mayuri was sitting a foot away from the Arrancar with his left cheek 2 inches to the right. In Mayuri's hands was a jar with a black blob attacking the walls within.

Shuuhei went straight to Nemu and began to talk to her. Renji went to the Arrancar and flipped him over onto his back. He was sleeping soundly.

Byakuya walked over to Mayuri and stared at the jar, feeling the spiritual energy emanating from it. He concluded that the energy blob came from the Arrancar and that the cheek fracture came from him as well. He turned to Mayuri and said, "I expect a full report on this incident within 24 hours Mayuri-san." And with this he disappeared out the door.

**(Shuuhei's POV)**

I glanced and Mayuri and Renji before returning to Nemu-chan. The poor girl was reverting back into herself and only spoke a few words at a time. What I could tell though was that the Arrancar punched Mayuri in rage, but she wouldn't say why. I turned back to Renji, but Renji was staring at the strange jar. Personally the blob was freaking me out. It had formed a mouth and was sucking the jar. Mayuri was staring fascinated.

"Mayuri-san, perhaps we should put that thing into a bigger, less breakable jar." I suggested. Mayuri looked up and then in a dazed fashion, nodded. I realized that with his cheekbone shattered he couldn't speak. A stupid thought, I agree. He set the jar on the counter and pointed Nemu-chan to the Arrancar. She promptly picked him up and carried him to one of the experiment chambers. They were outfitted with a bedroom and bathroom but they had microscopic cameras. Mayuri claimed it was for psychological information, but I think he's just a perv.

Renji stood next to me and turned to Mayuri. "Knowing Byakuya-san, we'll be in touch soon, Mayuri." Renji said steely.

We headed for the door but were stopped by Mayuri. He held up a pad of paper that read "Did he give you trouble on the way here?"

Renji read the note and said, "No. No he did not."


	8. Chapter 8

**(Zikinoru's POV)**

I dreamt. In my arms was the woman I loved, smiling up at me. She wasn't the demon woman yet. We were dancing across a white marble floor. Her silver dress tailed behind her, like a swan skimming across a moonlit lake. I held her close and breathed in her perfume. She also held me close, close enough to kiss almost. I closed the gap, taking in her mouth. I closed my eyes and felt her dagger slip between my ribs.

I felt myself separate into two entities. One held on to my beloved and grew the black wings I hated. His hands were black claws and dug into her skin. She ripped away turning into the demon woman I despised. Her eyes were red and her dagger became her arm.

My brother appeared across the hall. He held out his arms as if to embrace. My own entity screamed for him to run even as my Arrancar entity ran toward them. She ran to my brother, stabbing him in the heart and biting his neck. I screamed and the Arrancar ripped them both apart.

It turned to me and I felt my body begin to crumble into dust. His red eyes bore into my silver and I began to crumble faster. Before I disappeared I heard him rumble, "It's my turn now. Disappear forever mortal."

I awoke screaming. My stomach turned and I retched over the side of the bed. I leapt up and sprinted to the bathroom across the room to retch more.

**(Meanwhile)**

"Oh, I almost forgot about your pocky, Ren-kun!" Shuuhei exclaimed. They were sitting in Mayuri's computer room waiting for Zikinoru to wake up. They had been sitting shyly next to each other in 2 big beanbag chairs. Renji had been nudging his foot little by little. Shuuhei knew that Renji want to talk about the future of their relationship. After all, Renji and he could be… something. Shuuhei had blushed at his thought and Renji noticed, but didn't say anything. Shuuhei had turned away and reached into his pocket, where the pocky was.

Now he pulled it out, one box in each hand. "Do you want chocolate or strawberry?"

"Chocolate. Strawberry reminds me of Ichigo." Renji scoffed.

Shuuhei chuckled and opened the box. The rich smell hovered around the little biscuit sticks. He handed one to Renji and he took one as well. He nibbled on it for a while before an excitingly good though came to him.

"Ren-kun, play with me!" Shuuhei demanded in an uke-like voice. Renji promptly started choking on his pocky and stared at Shuuhei. Renji's face got beet red as he asked, "What do you mean, senpai?"

Shuuhei's smile got broader. "The pocky game, of course." Shuuhei purred. Renji blushed but wanted to show Shuuhei that he wasn't the only one who could be forward. "Of course I'll play Shuu-san!" Renji exclaimed. Shuuhei whipped out two more sticks of pocky and scooted closer to Renji. Renji accepted the pocky and held still as Shuuhei placed his own mouth around the pocky.

Shuuhei held up 3 fingers and counted down. When his hand became a fist, both men ate the pocky quickly. When both were at the middle, they stopped and blushed. The determination to show Shuuhei that he could be forward, pushed Renji on. He shut his eyes and let his tongue probe Shuuhei's mouth for the last bite. Shuuhei also shut his eyes, grateful that Renji was finally being forward. He kissed back softly, taking his time with his new partner. Renji snuck his hand up Shuuhei's shirt and was stroking his stomach when they heard the scream.

They broke away and stared at the computer screen. They ran out the door and through the hallway to Zikinoru's room. Renji slid the door open and ran into the bathroom, while Shuuhei followed. The Arrancar stopped retching and attempted to stand up. Halfway, he fell and Renji caught him. He hated touching the Arrancar, but it was weak and helpless. Zikinoru saw him sneer and attempted to stand up on his own, this time using the sink for support. His knees tried to buckle, but he wouldn't let them. Shuuhei came in and forced him to sit in the tub.

Renji sat on the toilet and watched the Arrancar. The Arrancar was sitting with his head in his hands, breathing heavily. It was then that Renji really noticed the little details of Zikinoru. His raven hair hung in loose strands across his face. His thin chest hitched as he struggled to breath. His hole was a black pit on his chest, the deepest void of darkness ever. Zikinoru picked up his head and Renji saw the two wing marks streaking across his nose.

"Why didn't you fight us earlier?" Renji demanded. He wanted a real reason to hate the Arrancar. Zikinoru only lifted his silver eyes to Renji's and said, "Why do you want me to fight you? I have nothing against you."

Renji stood up and staked away. Zikinoru fainted again, weak from retching, and Shuuhei only shook his head at Renji's arrogance and stupidity.


	9. Chapter 9

**It is now a month after Zikinoru woke up and he has not had any other outbursts and has gotten over his "Hollow Sickness." He has sunk into a state of melancholy and the nightmares came every day. **

**Mayuri's jaw has healed and has become obsessed with Zikinoru's negative, what Zikinoru calls his "Hatred." He beats Nemu less but has not stopped. He usually does this when he wants Zikinoru to do something for a test. Zikinoru didn't like these tests, but he liked seeing a girl getting hurt even less.**

**Shuuhei visited everyday to see how Zikinoru was doing and usually brought him some kind of food. Since Zikinoru was from Greece, eating this new food was always interesting. Mayuri found out new thing about Zikinoru's past life through the recorded conversations so he let Shuuhei visit. Renji was usually dragged to these visits even though Zikinoru told Shuuhei that Renji hated him. He told Shuuhei about most of his life except he never told them about the day he died or about those 3 days.**

**Renji's and Shuuhei's relationship stayed at an awkward stage considering that neither wanted to be the uke. They both began to like Zikinoru in their own way. Shuuhei liked his calm demeanor and pacifistic ways. Renji appreciated his strength and will-power. They had argued for a complete hour in the past and Zikinoru won.**

**One crazy drunken night Zikinoru told them what had been bothering him for the past month. Renji had just told a very crude joke and they were laughing hard. Shuuhei had his hand on Renji's leg and Zikinoru was on the other side of Renji with his head on his shoulder.**

"He…hey Ziki-chan?" Shuuhei asked.

"Yes Shuuy-san?" Zikinoru answered.

"How d-did you…you know, die?"

Zikinoru looked at the floor in a daze. He began his story starting with his engagement to his killer. It was an arranged marriage, but he had learned to love her, and he thought she loved him back. As his story came to a close he began to cry, and when the story was over Renji pulled him into his arms and Shuuhei hugged them both. Renji kissed Zikinoru's forehead and whispered that it was ok. Zikinoru was too drunk to push them away, and instead he kissed Renji's collar and held Shuuhei's fingers to his chest. Shuuhei and Renji looked at each other over him and kissed lightly. As they deepened the kiss they pressed tighter together and Zikinoru peered up watching them. "Are you g-guys…gay?" he asked. Shuuhei and Renji parted and looked down at his curious form and answered truthfully. He nodded and kissed both of them on the cheek. They looked at him with a question in their eyes. "I accept you as you are. I'm not into that stuff, but I don't think I like girls anymore." He stated. The tears began to fill his eyes again and they kissed the tears away. "We won't force you into anything Zik-san. We promise." Shuuhei whispered into his ear. Renji nodded in agreement and hugged to other two. Zikinoru smiled at the two and whispered," You are my only friends you know that? I love you guys. And you two love each other so it's even more awesome." He smiled more and fell asleep between the two, still smiling. They left him in his bed and went back to their room, where they slept soundly.


End file.
